The Fifty Chemicals of Romance
by Batterybaby
Summary: An indirect Frerard take on the infamous Fifty Shades of Grey.
1. Chapter 1

**The Fifty Chemicals of Romance**

* * *

**Chapter One**

"Gerard, Frank, welcome!" says Jeff, the band manager, smiling warmly at us as we walk into his OCD office. This is probably the third time I have been in here, since Jeff usually meet us on the tour buses or on neutral grounds. But I instantly remember how uncomfortably neat it is and the overwhelming smell of fresh lilies. In short, it is very "Jeff": clean, organized, and good smelling.

"I hope you two are well. I have some big news for you both!" When his eyes light up like a little kid, it means that he is seriously excited about something. That something was usually a good gig. Nowadays it is probably some mind-numbing interview, with monotonous interviewers, from a dreary "cutting-edge" magazine. Since there is no new album out and we are technically temporarily off tour, it is most probably not going to be a show. Therefore, I prepare for the worst.

"Please, sit. Can I get y'all some coffee?"

He looks at Gerard expectantly as we take a seat in probably the most comfortable armchair I have ever sat in. I am instantly in love, I melt into the leather as Gerard happily agrees to coffee. _Shocker_.

I rub my hands on the armrests, feeling the quality when Jeff clears his throat and I realize he was waiting for my answer.

"Uh, no thanks Jeff." He nods and then dials three numbers on his phone. A soft voice of a young woman picks up.

"Sir?"

"We need two cups of coffee up here, one with five shots of espresso" He smiles at Gerard, "and one for me, you know how I like it. Thanks Susan."

"Right away sir." Susan replies professionally, before he ends the call.

Jeff sits back on his chair, pleased with himself. He is real young, bright, and full of wisdom. He has been our manager since the very beginning. I admire his wits and success and I am eternally grateful for everything he has done for this band. It is safe to say, we wouldn't be who we are without him.

I watch him as he begins to slowly lay papers out from a thin binder. I draw my attention back to my amazing chair only to be interrupted by Gerard.

"You found a gig for us Jeff?" He asks slyly.

I snicker looking at Gerard who winks at me discreetly.

"No! This is better!" He chuckles. "But first off how is Ray? And have you heard from Mikey and Alicia?"

Ray had gotten a real bad case of the flu at a gig in Seattle and we were forced to cancel the next few upcoming shows. Alicia was in hospital after some weird pains started coming, so Mikey decided to go home as well about two days ago. So it was now just Gee and I.

"Ray is still recovering, but he's better. Alicia is still in the hospital, so Mikey was hoping to say with her a while longer…"

"That's good to hear Ray's coming around! And I'll give Mikey a call this afternoon and tell him not worry. This will only require the two of you."

I sit up straighter and feel Gerard shift in his seat.

"So I got a call from a new cutting edge magazine, and they want to interview the both of you-" I try to choke back my laughter, causing Jeff to pause and blink at me obliviously, while Gerard's eyes flicker to me and back to Jeff with a ghost of a smile on his lips. _Of course he knew what I was thinking._ "-They want to get to know you, figure out your individual style, and find out what has kept you guys together for so long!"

He awkwardly searches our faces for a reaction. Gerard has his poker face on and I have the hand holding up my chin trying to cover my smile. Suddenly a blonde woman saves the day as she walks through the door carrying two boiling cups of coffee. _Ooh_.

She was cute, tall and blonde with a grand pair of legs as she skirted between our seats and hands Jeff his coffee. She then turns to hand one to Gerard. Giving me a perfect view of her ass.

"Thank you Susan." I look at Jeff and nearly die when I realize I'm not the only one staring at her gorgeous backside.

"Of course." And with that she exits the office.

"That's not the best part though!" He continues nearly exploding with enthusiasm. Gerard run his fingers through his hair in apprehension and I attempt to stifle another chuckle. "It's a week long and it's in Miami!"

My jaw drops a little even though I am holding it up and I see Gerard's fingers cringe around the coffee cup from the corner of my eye. _A week-long interview? Jeff has clearly fucking lost it!_

"Jeff…" Gerard begins, his voice sounding strained, but Jeff quickly cuts him off.

"Let me finish Gerard, then I can answer questions. The magazine feels that a twenty-minute interview is not going to capture the chemistry of this band. And I personally agree! It's a good magazine and they really want to document you guys. I think it's a wonderful opportunity to get the band some good publicity! Plus, they are covering all expenses, including the flight, first class I should add, and the hotel. You will be staying at one of the nicest hotels on Miami Beach!-"

_First class? Miami Beach? _

"-What about Ray and Mikey?" I blurt out.

"Well…" Jeff twists his fingers awkwardly. _Geez, Spit it out Jeff._ "Well, they want to document the chemistry between just the two of you."

Gerard instantly flushes the color of his hair. _What the hell was Jeff getting at?_

"Chemistry?" I asked trying to sound amused.

Jeff takes a swig of his still steaming coffee; I imagine it burned the fuck out of his throat.

"Well, see, they like the way you two-interact on stage-and off stage too! And well…" He coughs, confirming the coffee burn. This guy now had me at the edge of my overly comfortable seat, literally. "You guys know what I mean, you guys are good friends. Just say you'll do it?"

_Yeah I know exactly what you mean_. I feel myself flush and I suddenly can't face Gerard. The seconds tick by and since he doesn't seem to be making a move, I do.

"Where do I sign up?" Leaning forward, flashing Jeff a smile, attempting to appear unphased, but really I am burning behind my cheeks. I muster the courage to peak from the corner of my eye. Gerard is still a little pink but his eyes are glazed, he is clearly in some far off place and no longer here.

"Excellent Frank! Just fill out this paperwork…" Jeff says nervously shuffling the papers towards me; his eyes are on Gerard too.

After a moment Gerard finally speaks, "I need to make a phone call first." Jeff frowns as Gee gets up and walks out.

"Take your time…" Jeff says as was we both watch him disappear surprised and dumbfounded.


	2. Chapter 2

******The Fifty Chemicals of Romance**

* * *

**Chapter Two  
**

It feels like hours have gone by, I am nearly done with all the bullshit paperwork, which internally I am secretly grateful for. Their overly specific questions have obligated my brain to focus. Jeff was quiet practically the whole time. I'm not sure if he likes me all that much or if he too is wondering about Gerard, or both. _What phone call did he need to make? _I wonder. But the truth is that I already know the answer to that one.

In that instant the door opens, Jeff and I eagerly look up only to be disappointed by the tall blonde standing at the door.

"Excuse me Sir, but Mr. Way had to leave abruptly and asked me to deliver this message." _What!_

Susan holds up a small white slip of paper and walks awkwardly past me as I strain to read the note.

Jeff looks just as puzzled as I am and reaches over his paper littered desk to receive the slip. I subconsciously edge my seat closer to the desk nearly pinching one of Susan's feet. I felt her flinch away and give me a death stare as she turns around and walks hastily out of the office.

Jeff reads and rereads the note silently; his eyes skimming from side to side like a typewriter. _What the hell did it say? _I realize my right foot is tapping impatiently. He finally looks up, his expression relieved.

"He's accepted-he's going! He just needed to catch the quickest flight home to see Lindsey-he will be back in three days just before the trip!" _Er-okay?_

Jack dials another combination of numbers on his office phone, as I sit back on my chair a little bothered, okay very bothered. It rings two times before a man with a very annoyingly high-pitched voice picks up.

"This is Pierre." Pierre nearly sing his name.

"Yes Pierre? This is Jeff, My Chemical Romance's manager."

"Oh-Yes! Jeff! Did they accept our once-in-a-lifetime offer?" _Geez._ _Seriously?_

"Yes, they would be delighted to-"

"Just Way and Iero right?" Pierre snaps. _What the hell?_

"Er-" Jeff is also thrown off. "Yes, just Gerard and Frank."

"Perfect! I'll have my people call your people-can't wait to meet them!"

"Er-well have-'your people'-call me-" but Pierre had already hung up. _What a queer…_

Jeff and I stare at each other for a moment and I try to do anything to end this awkward silence.

"'My people call your people'? Do people really say that shit?" I ask, It works.

Jeff bursts out laughing, shaking his head, "Yeah-I guess so! Well here's the last of it-just sign here and here-and I guess I'll have to mail Gerard his paperwork..."

I frown. I still couldn't believe Gerard had bailed out like a Class: "A" asshole. I finish signing my life away, shake awkward hands with Jeff, and bolt.

On my way out I nearly knock Susan out who was standing, adjusting her breasts, outside of Jeff's door. She flushes surprised and I smirk. _Woah, Jeff!_

"He's all yours Susan!" I wink at her and continue on my way out.

"Have a good day, sir." She mutters angrily through gritted teeth.

The weather is a little too cold for my taste and the wind feels like knives against my face. I snuggle deep into my jacket and pull over the hood. One of Susan's burn-your-throat coffees would've perfect right about now. I imagine what kind of miscellaneous liquids would be in there if I asked her for some after I had busted her and Jeff's obvious more than coworker relationship.

A smoked cigarette rolls in the wind across the pavement in front of me and I remember Gerard. _That Jackass! _Then I realize we had come in the same car. I nearly run around Jeff's building to the back parking lot and sigh in relief when I see that the car they had both arrived in was still there. _Okay, so he's not a total jackass_.

I decide to drive to the coffee shop a couple of blocks away. I particularly like this Starbucks because of its awesome playlist. And It was also a warm place to sit and think, plus it's not like I had plans. Well I did, but they are dead now since Gee was probably in a taxi, if not already on a plane back to Jersey. I shake my head and try not to sulk.

The Starbucks is definitely warm, the defrosting process I went through walking in was almost orgasmic. I look up and see a sweet looking girl smiling from the register waiting to take my order.

"Hello, welcome to Starbucks! What can I get you-oh, you look cold!"

As I get closer, I notice she is actually pretty. She has freckles sprinkled across her cheeks and nose, short jet-black hair, and a set of dark eyes. I smile.

"Yeah, it's freezing out there!"

"Well good thing it's too warm in here! What can I make for you today?"

"Yeah, Thanks-" She turns a little pink as she watches me skim through the all too familiar menu. "-What do you suggest?"

I know what I want but I also know that this was going to open the dams of information. I study her and make jokes as she explains pretty much every drink on the menu. Truth is, I've had them all, so I know what they all taste like. I just really like the sound of her voice.

"-In short, I think you should stick to the Salted Caramel Mocha." She smiles.

"So I should stick to the first one you mentioned from the extensive menu?" I tease.

The pink remains in her cheeks as she giggles plugging in my drink into the register._  
_

"Great! So now that we figured out what I want to drink, now I'll need a run through of all the sweets you have." I wink.

She giggles again and I hear someone clear his or her throat behind me. Apparently I am holding up the line. She notices too and composes herself.

"I'm kidding, I'll have a blueberry muffin please."

"Good choice." She scoots over and begins picking through the muffins behind the glass until she finds one that satisfied her.

She was right, it was starting to get too warm in here; I remove my jacket, revealing my sleeves of tattoos.

"Can I have a name for the order?" She says obviously examining them.

I freeze. If I give her my name I am sure it will ruin everything. I like meeting girls without the help of the band.

"Jose." I internally kick myself for choosing such an unfitting name, but it was the first that came to mind.

She blinks at me for a second then asks for cash or a credit card. _Fuck._

I have no cash and my credit card has my full name on it. I fumble through my pockets until I find the loose card in my jeans and hand it to her. I secretly hope she lacked musical knowledge or attention to detail.

She looks at the card, then looks up and eyed me suspiciously. I brace myself, but she swipes the card and hands it back to me.

"Thank you _Jose_, here's your muffin. Your coffee will be ready in a minute." She whispers and turns away. _Crap_.

"Er-Thanks." I call after her. These are the moments that make me hate my career. Well at least she didn't make a scene.

I walk over to a table in the far corner of the shop and take a seat, putting my jacket and hood back on. I image her alerting the whole Starbucks staff. I mindlessly pick at my muffin and wait.

A few minutes later there is a change of light and I look up to see the same girl who took my order standing over me, holding my coffee out.

"It was a pleasure serving you, _Jose._" She winks and flashes me a smile.

I grin relieved and she turns to walk away. _Ah, why not?_

"Miss-?"

"Yes?" She spins around almost instantly, visibly surprised.

"What's your name?"

She smiles warmly. _She is really pretty._

"Jamia."


	3. Chapter 3

******The Fifty Chemicals of Romance**

* * *

**Chapter Three**

Victorious, I walked back to the car feeling like a champ. Turns out, Jamia was a really down to earth girl who actually had boundless musical knowledge. She had taken her break and we sat chatting animatedly about pretty much everything. We shared so much in common. My coffee was ice by the time I was done with it.

I slid my hand in my jacket checking for the folded napkin that had her number engraved. I did this several times on the way back to the hotel Gee and I are-or that I'm-staying at. It's quite the fucking drive.

I was barely crossing the city limit when my phone started ringing, I instantly think of Gerard. I turn down the music and search for my phone that I had forgotten in the car all day. I finally found it lodged within the passenger's seat where I had been sitting on the way to Jeff's this morning with Gee driving. Thankfully whoever it was, was not giving up.

Finally I am able to yank it free from the seat without causing any accidents or casualties. To my slight dismay, it is Ray.

"Hey Ray."

"Frankie! What's up?" Ray's raspy voice crackled through the speaker. He is clearly still sick.

"Nothing, driving back from Jeff's. You still sound like shit!"

As if on cue, a loud coughing spasm rippled through my ear. _Geez._

"Yes, unfortunately" He sniffs. "I'm losing my mind over here! And my throat…what did Jeff tell-ya?"

I sigh in remembrance.

"He wants us to do an interview."

"Oh, sucks." Ray says apologetically.

"Yeah, some queer from some fancy magazine in Miami…" I wait.

"Miami?" He coughs, surprised.

"Yeah, for a week."

"Wow, sounds…_nice_."

Now it is my turn to be surprised. _Is he being sarcastic?_

"Oh yeah, I'm sure."

"No-really." He says. "Miami sounds cool, the weather is so much nicer and _warmer_. It's a neat city. I mean aside from them badgering you guys with the interview, I think you're gonna have some fun down there! Is Mikey going too?"

I am taken aback by Ray's optimistic approach. _Would it be fun?_

"No they kind of 'specially requested' Gerard and I for the interview, plus Mikey's still with Alicia…" I hope for a more critical reaction, but of course I knew that was out of the question with Ray.

"Nice! Poor Alicia, I hope she gets better."

So, of course Ray didn't find it strange. _Was I the only one that found it odd? No, Gerard had to feel weird about it too! Or he wouldn't have run off the way he did._

"Yeah well, I hope _you _get better. You sound like a dying dog."

He chuckled quietly and we hang up.

I wonder where Gerard is and if he is going to at least let me know he had gotten to Lindsey's safely. My finger naturally finds his contact and hovers over the "Call" button. I click the lock button and throw it in the backseat. _Fuck him._

I blasted music and sang tunelessly for the rest of the two hours it took to drive back to the hotel. The sun was setting by then and it was getting colder. I brave the dropping temperature smoking a cigarette in the parking lot, observing the architecture of the hotel; it is nothing special. None of us have a taste for fancy or expensive things.

In fact there are only certain items, aside from instruments, that each of us actually spend any real money on. Mikey and his glasses, Ray and his games, Gerard and his jackets, and I with dogs. I miss my babies.

I hired a pet nanny years ago to babysit Peppers, Mama, Houdini, Bela, Texas, Professor Buckley, Sweet Pea, Sinatra, Daisy, Winston, and Piglet. She's a big-hearted, middle-aged woman named Mrs. Wiliams. She lives in a huge house with an area designed just for dogs, just a little over half an hour from my home. I'm almost sure she loves them just as much as I do. I realize that I had not called her today, so I stub my cigarette against the frozen concrete and dial while walking to the room.

"Mr. Iero! I was beginning to worry you had forgotten your children!"

"Never! I miss the little monsters, how are they doing?" I ask.

"They're fine, missing their Daddy." She answers kindly.

"Oh-that reminds me Mrs. Williams, I am going to Florida in a couple of days for an interview and won't be back for a week. After that there's no telling if we're going to be back on tour or not, so I will have to keep you updated on my return."

"Now don't you worry about a thing Mr. Iero! You know they have a second home here! Ain't that right Sweet Pea?" She says speaking to my dogs tenderly.

I smile, thinking of the little creep.

"Alright, thanks." I answer politely.

After I hang up with Mrs. Williams, I rummage the room for food.

There were a couple of munchies here and there, but I am hungry for a big meal. And with nothing to cook and no desire to leave the toasty room for the icebox outside, I call for pizza.

The young guy taking my order on the phone informs me that a small blizzard is picking up outside and that the pizza might take a little longer than usual to get to my hotel. Smelling an excuse since it wasn't even snowing when I arrived, I misuse my powers of "fame" and let him know whom I was, praying that he knew who I was. Thankfully, He instantly recognizes the band and me. And after some compliments, assures me that the pizza would get to me in a timely matter. I thank him and after I hang up, I realize that I might've put some dangerous pressure on the driver, if there really is a storm brewing up.

I call the reception and inform them of my order and ask them to put it on my tab and give the delivery person a nice tip.

I remove my jacket and the folded napkin that holds the sacred combination of numbers of my accomplishment today. I turn on some crap TV and walk over to the fridge to pull out a beer from a six-pack. After four beers, my pizza finally arrives. One of the hotel employees delivers it to my door and I indulge. _Guess there really is a storm outside._

By ten, the pizza and beers are gone and I am knocked out on the couch.

The next morning I am startled awake by the loud obnoxious ringing of my phone. I pick up groggily without checking who it is.

"Frank? Did I wake you up?" Jeff's voice echoes through the phone.

"Um-no, what's up?"

"Sounds like I did!" He says, his tone sounding a little disapproving. "Anyway, I wanted to run through a couple of details with you about the trip. You know, time, arrival, where you are going to be staying, what they are expecting, etc."

I rub my eyes annoyed. _Now, Jeff?_

"By the way-have you spoken to Gerard?"

This slaps me awake.

"Er-No, I take it you haven't either?"

"No, I figured he would've called me by now, but I imagine he's a little preoccupied." There was no sarcasm in his voice because we both know that one thing Gerard doesn't take for granted are matters of the band and Jeff.

Jeff runs me through the whole Miami trip. I struggle to keep my mind from wondering about Gerard. He informs me that we are actually scheduled to be on a plane by tomorrow noon.

After we hang up I decide to call Mikey. If there is one person who would know about Gerard, it is him.

The duration of the phone call is exceptionally short. Alicia was finally out of the hospital and recovering at home. Mikey had received a call from Jeff yesterday in the late afternoon and was granted more time off. Also revealing that we are obviously not scheduled to be back on tour anytime soon. He didn't mention the Miami trip, so I guess that Jeff hadn't told him. He didn't mention Gerard either, so I also assume they hadn't spoken either. Or maybe Mikey is just too concerned with greater matters than the whereabouts of his older brother?

By the time we hang up it is about five in the afternoon. I had slept for roughly fifteen hours, scary.

I grab my thicker jacket and head out for the nearest bar.

I help myself to wings and beer before bringing on the heavier liquor. It is a Wednesday and still too early for a big crowd. So my drinks are coming a little faster than usual and so is my buzz.

After two pitchers of dark beer, two cups of whiskey and a shot of tequila, I allow myself to be vanquished by the thoughts that had created that color on Gerard's face in Jeff's office. Maybe this Miami trip was a good idea after all. I too, want to know what the fuck this is "chemistry"-as Jeff had so kindly put it-was all about. The ingredients that Pierre and his snooty team were after. The unique chemicals that are produced only between Gerard and I.

When did it start? We didn't know. Why did it happen? We definitely didn't know. But what we both knew was that when it did, when the music started playing, and we were both drenched in sweat. When we hit that level of euphoria where we're both possessed by the rhythm of the instruments, his voice, and the crowd. That for that moment, when our hands touched one another and our lips came together, everyone watching felt it.

I take one last shot of something before I stagger out into the cold and into my cab that the bartender had so kindly called for. At this state I probably would've never made back to my warm empty hotel room.

I finally stumble into my room and remove all my clothes. I walk over to my bedroom where I pull out a bad of weed and a lighter from one of my socks. I go back to the couch, still naked, and roll myself a blunt.

Burning the end of it, I take long heavy drags. Allowing my already drunken scrambled thoughts run wild. I think of our shows, our interviews. The way he looked at me-the way we looked at each other. The many times Gerard's hands were on me and mine on him. Gerard's slimy lips against mine…_was there something more between us?_

I moan and realize that my blunt is gone and my hand is stroking my hard errection. It feels so good, as I rub myself and the juices build up in my testicles painfully begging for release. I am drunk, stoned, and wishing that my hand were Gerard's. I call out my best friend's name as my muscles clench at the pleasure of my climax. I sit there panting with my warm fluids dripping down my beaten member.

Suddenly, my phone next to me start to ring. I look down to see that it is Gerard calling.


End file.
